Writer’s Block

All I wanna be when I grow up is a writer.

So I keep asking myself how the hell am I supposed to do that if I never write.

And then I answer myself with I don’t have time to write.

And then I say what about when I’m doing nothing at work.

And then I answer well I play solitaire because work is so boring I’ve fried my brain and all I want to do is sit around and not think while waiting for the clock to say 5:00.

And then I say what about after work when I’m not going to the gym and instead am sitting on the sofa watching crappy local news followed by trash T.V. until something good comes on at 8:00.

And then to shut myself up I say I have writer’s block.

And since I don’t have a good answer for that, I realize I’m so horribly addicted to my own lazy habits I keep my energized creativity locked tightly away in a sound-proof room like a crazy person while gluttony is posted at the door as bouncer and lethargy runs the place.

But I’m going to try to break her out because in the words of McSweeneys’ verbal cartoonist Dan Liebert “To overcome ‘writer’s block’ you have to kill your ‘inner censor’ and anyone else who says you’re no good.”

So now I’m writing again. Let’s see what I say…