Excerpts from a Schizophrenic

We don’t know who sent the letter because there is no return address; it was mailed to my place of employment in a very crisp, nondescript yellow envelope. The postal verification on the front indicates it was mailed September 21, 2007. Aside from that, we know nothing. Except that it’s brilliant.

Attached to the front of the 11 page letter are two yellow post-it notes. His handwriting is hurried and nervous, centered and tilted upward on the paper. He scrawls, “Copy this enclosed for every state government. National crisis: Moscow Institute of Science has implanted 10,000 government employees at national level, mostly. All Congress has implant: part biologic, part metal. Work owns governments.”

Behind the notes, the treatise is entitled “Divine: Treatment for Schizophrenia.”

I wish I had the time to copy all 11 pages here. But these exemplary excerpts are gems:

“The goal of a schizophrenic is to release the aura of a voice. Psychiatrists sometimes suggest playing CDs of instrumental music, or soft tender music like Enya, or Yanni, or Christmas songs over the voices. Throw away all negative or seductive music.”

“Say Divine constantly. The background book for saying Divine constantly is from ‘Creative Visualization’ by Shakti Gawain. In it she describes healing statements. The best for this ailment is saying Divine constantly. Say Divine is within me always. Say Divine correction to any statement. Each of us are a Divine correction. To any problem or negativity, say Divine is surrounding me always. Divine is protecting me always. This trio statement can be made to also help seal your aura so other voices go away.”

“Divine wants you to not have other voices in your head. If a voice says he’s God or Jesus he is not saying the truth. Divine is quietly working on your behalf. If a picture of Jesus comes into your mind, it may be playing with your mind to kick you and make you feel poorly. That is why the word Divine is chosen to say repeatedly. Divine is not a picture of someone. Divine is quiet and protect you from any negativity just by saying Divine constantly. Divine want only Divine and yourself to be in yourself constantly, like a normal person. That’s why Divine is quietly working towards your curing effect.”

“Three other things are primary for self care: Divine Holy Water, Perkl-light, and 10,000 Lux Full Spectrum Light Box.”

“Melatonin has been proven by scientists to help heal the holes in the brain that are often seen in this ailment. Eat ten to twenty a day. There is no limit. If it makes you sad, eat just before sleeping with your psychiatric pill. Use melatonin spray on your head! Shave your head to 1/4 inches.”

“If you hear voices trying to enjoy your own meal in your mouth, hold a tablespoon or two of vinegar in your mouth a while. Swallow. Use Colgate’s ‘Orabase’ soothe-n-seal for canker and mouth sores, on your inside of your mouth to seal away voices. Eat yogurt and Dan-Active only for one to two months. Ensure products add needed vitamins and protein. Then go to soft foods so the mouth is less disturbed by crunchiness. Spread plain yogurt all over your body. Lay on plastic drop cloth over your bed… Ladies, use a tampon with yogurt on the tip and place in vagina. Melatonin lotion can be put into vagina instead. Melatonin lotion may calm the skin on any area. Also vaginal cream feels better.”

“New skin liquid bandage can be used to seal any scratch or skin eruption. Voices try to get in through a skin eruption. New skin liquid bandage seals the skin. New skin liquid bandage can be used on the back of the neck up to the occiput and on the sacrum to seal away voices. Do not use all over the body. The skin needs to breathe! If the skin cannot breathe a person may not live.”

“Use your own energy! Work at keeping a clean room each day. Cleanliness is next to Godliness. negativity goes away with clean room and house. Add air freshener, natural potpourri, and perfume. Keep room sunny! Have clear plastic drawer so light comes into every area of your room if you can go that far! Add angels to your room as pictures or/and statues. Angels magazine has many inexpensive pictures of angels… Divine may be typed in large print and taped all over property and walls to sooth and send away negativity. Put personal identifications such as drivers’ license in Holy Water and in a plastic bag. Wear a fanny pack as a voice may try to persuade you to loose your keys, IDs, and money.”

“If you hear ssss sounds outside you or crunching sounds take a hand vacuum and point it away from you so it sucks away from your head. The hand vacuum may have motor oil where the air comes out so the energy does not go to you again. The ssss sounds may be a voice wanting to be told go back to your body, this will scatter your energy too much if you come too close to me. A large fan can be next to the wall sucking the energy to bounce on the wall. An ionizer without air purifier can be set on the floor with clothes to wear the next day above it in case a crinkle feeling is on towels and clothes.”

“If a voice mentions filth, your job is to be really clean! Put dandruff shampoo on hair longer than usual, 5 minutes or 3 hours or so. Use dial soap liquid over your body and head and keep it there for 5 minutes or so before showering. Use bactine spray on hair if sweaty. Use aloe vera in sauna if sweaty. Pepto bismal for cleaning the stomach, Vaginal cream for cleaning the uterus, Pink eye homeopic tear medicine for eyes, nasal spray for nose, listerine or sore throat spray for mouth, homeopic ear medicine for ears, or olive leaf oil for ears, for the cavities and body openings are susceptible to a lower grad of cellular activity.”

“Write down a few Divine statements such as: Divine is within me always. Divine surrounds me always. Divine protects me always. Divine is in every part of my body. Divine brings me so much abundance and plenty. Divine I care for the weak and unfortunate first and foremost. Divine I live along time compassionately concerned in my area. Divine protects myself, my property, my family, and friends. Divine, I am a caring, sweet, nice person and everyone thinks so. Divine I am alone dressing. Divine, Sir, go back and look for a wife to marry.”

“If you don’t know where to start for treatment consider Divine towel treatment. Do sign of cross with Divine Holy Water, state may I put this cloth in Divine Holy Water. Put Towel in Divine Holy Water and wring slightly. Apply to head and neck, perhaps face and back for laying down position. You can put Divine towel on every part of body. For slight affliction, wear Divine towel around neck, as though you’ve just come from the spa for out and about town. Get a floppy plastic new cake pan and add Divine Holy water. Lay head in it during sleep time. You may add a washcloth to make it more comfortable or/and towel treatment.”

“Light in body openings tends to move the energy out of the body. A clear plastic tampon can be used.”

“Do not swallow Divine Holy Water. State Divine, I’m sorry for drinking Divine Holy Water. Divine forgives you immediately. Divine is quietly working for you in serene contemplative tub. But do not use a tub, for voice may want to submerge you too much.”

“If you sense a white beam of light through you, this is too strong, and the voice may say insightful things from your mind and then say that you are not going to last through the day. Voice and light is faulty. Run around the room! State Divine I want to be normal. Don’t answer any questions. Turn on TV without volume or very low volume and look closely at TV when not running.”

“Tactile yourself by putting own head in kitchen faucet of running water. Do not use a towel, just run around room.”

“For vibrations, walk around room. A helmet may help. Thick metal like a computer laptop held over chest and head may help. If you have the vitamat, place sideways like a shield.”

“If your eyes can’t see right, wash eyelashes with washrag. Do sign of cross with Divine Holy Water and sign of cross on eyes. Look into light or light box (full spectrum light preferred) for five minutes.”

“Keep reading to a minimum. Even the lovely Chicken Soup books are stories that are not written in third person so sometimes the reader gets confused and thinks they are the person in the story and they lose track of their own name. State Divine constantly.”

“Divine Holy Water is from a Divine Cistern in a Catholic church, from a Catholic Pries at a Rectory home, or from a Catholic store. If you are unable to find a Catholic church in severe times, you may declare a cup of water as Divine Holy Water in some instances such as: Severe illness unable to get across room and no one to get Divine Holy Water for you, Foreign country with only non Christians, In a psychiatric ward without being able to get it for you, or unable to convince nurse or relatives.”

“There is an orchestra of music mentioned by many schizophrenic persons. No one yet knows where the music comes from. The music tries to blends voices from several persons until they cannot think very well. Call 202 324-3000 if this is what is happening to you.”

“May you have many blessings and Divine protection all your life long.”