Tired of Being an Adult

This morning I looked at myself in the mirror, fully naked before the shower, and contemplated my midsection. My feminine figure is barely recognizable anymore, what with all the extra flab hanging off the sides. I have grown a cubicle gut. And cubicle love handles. And saggy cubicle boobs. Complete with a round face and the beginnings of a double chin.

I made it all the way through college and grad school drinking beer (like a champ) and eating pizza with a flat belly, but the desk job has killed my body. I sit down all day every day; staring at the computer, pretending to work, hunched over and bored. I used to be hot. Now I have high cholesterol. And heartburn. And a bad neck. And worsening vision. And a real job and health care and a 401(k) and “success.”

I’m 28, and already I’m tired of being an adult.

Remember playing outside? Kickball and four-square and jumping rope and flashlight tag… I want to go there again. Remember when Monday wasn’t a four letter word?

There’s got to be a way to get back there. I just have to finish these reports first…

What I’m looking for in a job

The job I have right now is fine. I get to work on projects that interest me, many of the people I work with are cool, it’s not overly stressful, and I have good benefits. So for those things, I am truly grateful.

But I would really like to be able to use a stronger adjective than fine.

I’ve been here two years now, and I think the main reason I’m looking for something else is because the work here is never finished. It’s a never-ending monotonous cycle of busywork. I research public policy, and because politicians will never fully understand the issues, there will always be something else to research. I finish one policy brief and move on to the next, never knowing if the hours I put into researching and writing will ever accomplish anything. Right now, each day is a lesson in futility, and I can’t believe someone actually pays me to do this.

So instead, I would like to place an order for a creative, fulfilling career. I would also like a side of challenge smothered in tremendous reward.

The funny thing is I have no idea what I want to do for a living. And what’s more, I don’t care. I just know that I want to spend my days working on something I believe in. Something that will affect people, move people, help people. Something that doesn’t bore me, allows me to travel, makes me want to get out of bed in the morning… Something that makes me deliriously happy.

Three months from now, I want to be sitting at my computer writing a different kind of post about my new job. I want it to read “thank you. thank you. thank you. thank you. thank you. thank you. thank you!” And I would like to be able to say with wonder and excitement “I can’t believe someone actually pays me to do this!”

Amen.